i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
