I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
