Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
