wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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