perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
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