saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
