margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize