We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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