My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Your cock deserves a montage
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
