i'm signing you up for texting rehab
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
