hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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