all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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