Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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