I hate your face
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
