And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
