Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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