I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
