Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
