is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize