Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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