butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
my sisters under your porch take her home
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
