Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Randomize
