I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize