I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Randomize
