she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
