I accidentally had phone sex last night
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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