found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
