Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize