it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize