Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
