Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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