it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
