I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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