Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
