Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
