I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
We need to get me chipped asap
Randomize
