we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
