FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
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