Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
