OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
