I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize