I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
