i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
