You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
