this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
