we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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