at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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