can we get nightvision for the apartment?
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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