I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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