I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
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