the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
