no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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