too bad you live with your parents still
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Randomize
