Banned from zoo.
Again?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
