everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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