I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Randomize
