Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
