I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
