I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
i believe in u and ur pee
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