are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
