remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
