A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
