areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize