doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
