So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
