Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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