I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
