Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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